I used to have a huge problem with anxiety, it affected my home life, work life, and social life. It was definitely a big deal. I’d worry about everything, from what others thought to my financial situation, to being successful. It was quite ridiculous now that I think about it. There’s even a term called “Anziety” that I’ve been called – a play of words with my last name a fond anxiety. I usually play it up for funs now, but a few years back it was a big problem – so much so I was on anxiety medication for a time. This was a hard time, I had recently been laid off from my job, my first child was on its way, I was dealing with some medical issues, and it was at a time where I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. Needless to say it was very trying on my mental state. I made it through this season and reflecting back on it, I think it was definitely a major period of growth for me both spiritually and mentally.
I think I was even being “attacked” spiritually, I don’t know if it was the result of the stress or some weird side effect of the medication, but I experienced what is coined as “sleep paralysis” – the worst I’ve ever experienced in my life. A hooded figure stood before my bed and I was unable to speak or move (apparently this is a global phenomenon and if you want to go down some rabbit trails just google “shadow person”, “sleep paralysis”, or “night hag”. Anyways I let my pastor know about the experiences and he recommended I start reading more of the Bible, praying, and sleeping with a Bible in my bedroom. I started reading the Bible and Praying and eventually I stopped having the night terrors.
Anyways one day I was feeling a bit down, and I for whatever reason came across the Opening Theme of Fraggle Rock. A childhood TV show that I loved. I was seriously into Muppets when I was a little kid. Well one of the lyrics is “Dance your cares away, worry’s for another day!” You can view and listen to the theme below:
For whatever reason those lyrics resonated with me and I kept thinking, where have you heard something like that before. It really ate at me the entire day, until I opened up my Bible to Matthew 6. I was reading along and verse 25 struck me. This was what I was experiencing and I needed to read these verses.
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. – Matthew 6:25-34 (ESV)
After reading these verses I felt a sense of peace, a peace I hadn’t felt in a long time. I kept up with these verses anytime I sensed anxiety and eventually (recently) stopped taking my anxiety medication, as God was curing me Spiritually as well as Mentally. Since then I haven’t experienced a night terror and my life is not ruled by worry. I do have worries come up every so often, but I try to remind myself, what’s the point and it isn’t a HUGE struggle anymore. There’s nothing that worrying can accomplish, aside from more worrying. Nobody ever in the history of mankind solved a problem with worrying.
If you truly believe in the all power, all knowing, ever present God and you seek out or have a personal relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, His Son, you should not have to worry at all. Always seek Him first and ALL the things that you need will be added to you.
Thanks for reading my odd, yet personal story,